Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
