I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
