Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
