I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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