Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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