i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
