she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize