Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
