I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
