Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
