When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
