Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
