I have demons in me.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
