the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
