do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
