erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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