Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
