And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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