that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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