dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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