tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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