you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
