dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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