he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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