oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
