Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
