Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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