would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
