i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
