i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
