Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
