do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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