I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
