Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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