I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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