dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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