I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
