my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
