Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
