I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
