did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
