so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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