Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
3 2 1 whiskey
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
