I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
