Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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