Can Purell be used as lube?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
