I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
