i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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