What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
