i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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