Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
