Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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