Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i was born a porn star she said
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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